1 on 1s: Why They Matter More Than You Think

If you search for “1 on 1,” you’ll see everything from basketball matchups to coaching tips. But in leadership, a one-on-one meeting is something else entirely. It’s a regular meeting between a manager and their direct report. And it might be the most important meeting on your calendar.

Done well, a 1:1 creates space for clarity, trust, and growth. Done poorly, or skipped altogether, it leaves your team guessing.

Some leaders try to keep things informal. Take Jensen Huang, CEO of Nvidia. He’s known for not scheduling one-on-ones, choosing quick hallway chats instead. That works for him. He leads a massive company with layers of leadership between him and most employees.

But most leaders aren’t in his position.

If you’re leading a team at a business, nonprofit, or church, skipping regular 1 on 1s usually leads to problems. People get disconnected. Communication breaks down. What seems small grows into something big.

You don’t need more spontaneous conversations. You need more consistent ones.

This post will show you:

• What is a 1 on 1
• Why 1 on 1s matter
• How to make them count
• FAQ

Let’s get started.

What Is a One-on-One?

A one-on-one is a recurring, scheduled meeting between a leader and a direct report. The goal is to create space for listening, learning, and leading. These time slots aren’t for status updates or performance reviews, they’re for relationship and alignment.

When done well, one-on-ones create a steady rhythm where trust grows and feedback flows. But knowing what a one-on-one is isn’t enough. You also need to understand why it matters.

Let’s look at the difference it makes.

Why One-on-Ones Matter

People aren’t widgets. They’re made in God’s image: thinking, feeling, doubting. And in the day-to-day rush, they’ll often go unseen.

That’s where one-on-ones step in:

• They build trust through consistency. Regular, uninterrupted time signals care.
  
  
• They surface the hidden. A safe space helps unspoken concerns come to light.
  
  
• They steer clarity and accountability. Goals, progress, and expectations all get fresh air.
  
  
• They foster development. They give leaders insight into hopes, challenges, and next steps.

One Gallup study found that employees are almost three times more likely to be engaged when they have regular meetings with their manager.

HRD Connect adds that consistent 1-on-1s boost team performance and morale. These aren’t just good practices—they’re tied directly to how teams function day to day.

In fact, PerformYard reports that 86% of highly engaged organizations hold regular one-on-one conversations. In less engaged companies, that number drops to around 50%.

What’s the point? These meetings don’t just build engagement. They also strengthen alignment, reduce turnover, and reinforce a healthy culture.

When you keep a steady rhythm of 1-on-1s, you do more than check in. You show people they matter, you listen deeply, and you help them grow in their calling.

Callout for Teams and Organizations

As Verne Harnish writes in Mastering the Rockefeller Habits, “Communication rhythm is critical. It sets the cadence for accountability and alignment.”

If you want your organization to stay agile, focused, and unified, your meeting rhythms need to support it. One-on-ones are the foundation. Without them, misalignment spreads. With them, clarity compounds.

What Makes One-on-Ones Work

Not all one-on-ones are equal. Done poorly, they waste time and erode trust. Done well, they spark progress and connection.

1. Let them lead the meeting

The direct report sets the agenda. Ask:

• What’s on your mind?
  
  
• What’s working?
  
  
• What’s holding you back?

Avoid status-update formats. This is their time to talk, and be heard.

2. Keep them consistent

Weekly for 25 to 60 minutes is ideal. Canceling sends the message that the conversation, and the person, isn’t important.

Changing the location, like having a walk or meeting at a café, can refresh the rhythm.

3. Don’t get lost in the weeds

A one-on-one is not a task update. It’s a way to focus on priorities, roadblocks, celebrations, and well-being. Avoid turning it into a project-management meeting.

4. Gather real feedback

Ask:

• What should we start doing?
  
  
• What should we stop doing?
  
  
• What should we keep doing?
  

This kind of reflective input builds a culture of improvement and openness.

5. Take notes and follow up

Track commitments, concerns, and encouragements. Follow up reliably. A short message or reminder shows that what they say matters.

Failure to follow up damages trust more than missing a meeting.

6. Leave margin at the end

Great ideas or personal insights often emerge in the final minutes. Don’t rush out. Save space for unexpected conversation. It’s often the most meaningful.

7. Encourage candid conversation

Organizational psychologist Steven Rogelberg observes that many meetings go wrong when managers talk too much or treat it as a status check. In a good one-on-one, the report should speak more than half the time.

He recommends a 25-minute weekly or 50-minute bi-weekly rhythm. Deep enough for needs, light enough to avoid micromanagement.

1 on 1 Meeting Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

How long should a one-on-one meeting last?

Most one-on-ones work well at 30 to 60 minutes. Weekly or biweekly rhythms offer the right cadence to build trust and address what matters without letting too much stack up between conversations.

What should I talk about during a one-on-one?

Start by asking open questions. Focus on personal check-ins, obstacles they’re facing, areas where they want to grow, and how they’re experiencing the team’s work or direction. Let them lead the conversation.

Should I take notes during a one-on-one meeting?

Yes. Notes help you track encouragements, concerns, and commitments. Reviewing them before the next meeting shows you’re present and faithful in following through—two traits every gospel-shaped leader should embody.

What makes a one-on-one meeting actually effective?

It’s not about checking a box. A great one-on-one is built on trust, active listening, consistency, and follow-up. It’s a space where people feel safe, seen, and supported in their calling.

How do I know if my one-on-ones are working?

Look for growing clarity, deeper honesty, and fewer surprises. When team members initiate feedback, share openly, or say “I’ve been thinking about what we talked about last time,” you’ll know these meetings matter.

Over to You

One-on-ones aren’t a flashy tool. They’re a leadership practice. A way to serve, shape, and steward the people you lead.

The best leaders listen more than they speak. They connect work to calling. They follow through on their word.

The trust and clarity you build in one hour a week can shape culture, deepen relationships, and unlock potential. Start this week.